something to reflect or ponder?

interestingly enough when i was clearing up my room, i found this little list i made in uni year 2 during econs tutorial. EC1101E. i wrote it during tutorial, alongside the company of my darling tutorial friend (sorry i forgot who i took econs with... was it evelyn?) while my econs tutor, was staring ata board blankly. she was a PRC, prolly a noob and my list was titled 'REASONS TO FIRE THE TEACHER'. i then began to list 13 reasons why she should be fired. 

1) language barrier (very very poor command of english)
2) dresses poorly (t-shirt and jeans)
3) makes no sense (she really didn't, noone understood her)
4) contradicts herself (like in the next split second kind, oh and she tends to talk to herself)
5) pauses too long to think redundantly (harsh but true.. she didn't seem to know her work)
6) smiles at herself (in a creepy way)
7) confused about her own work (need i say more)
8) skips questions (she makes us do the work and she skips a major part of it! wtf)
9) arrives late for lessons (like 15min late.. wth)
10) talks in incomplete sentences (no comments)
11) poses to think very unglamly (yes.. i couldnt even stand the way she stood)
12) jumps into the answer without looking at the question thoroughly (we questioned her intelligence here)
13) poor explanations (very random and HUH?)

now that i understand the pains (there's always gd and bad) of being a teacher and have new found respect for those inta teaching profession, i feel a tad guilty being so harsh on her. but on retrospect, i guess everything in my list was true. and yes, back to the previous entry on BLAME, i do blame her for de-inspiring me to finally do well for econs ( i really tot i had a gd 2nd chance to love/understand the subject post jc). ah well. can't believe this week is almost over. feeling both happy and sad. 

weather blabber

blame it on the weather, blame it on the skies, blame it on everything that goes awry. blame it on the people, blame it on genes, blame it on everything that makes me want to scream. blame circumstances for loss of hope, blame it on society for structuring moulds. blame it on the country for not being cold, blame it on people who never grow old. blame it on youth, blame it on the recession, blame it on upcoming competition. blame it on the second guesses, blame our darkest thoughts. blame me, hate me, hate myself for hating me. confusion, is all i see. shambles of life that fragment me. inner turmoil, myself, i can no longer see. have i really lost me?

OKAY THIS PERSONALITY TEST I DID THAT YY INTRODUCED ME TO IS TOO TOO TOO SCARILY ACCURATE THAT IT TOTALLY FREAKS ME OUT!!! OH MY... -.-


PART A : As a child

Portrait of an ENP Child

(Extraverted iNtuitive Perceiving)

---

ENP Traits

1. They have a lot of energy
2. They're curious about everything, and seem to be always asking "Why?"
3. They have lots of ideas and love to talk about them
4. They always have several projects going on
5. They want to be original and interesting
6. They like to be leaders, and resist following
7. They're very social
8. They're very independent, and want to do things for themselves
9. They want to be the center of attention
10. They probably tend to be dramatic, and enjoy acting or performing
11. They're outspoken and energetic, and may interrupt frequently, or finish people's sentences for them

Potential Strengths

1. They're usually cheerful, optimistic, and fun to be around
2. They're enthusiastic and fearless
3. They believe that anything is possible
4. They have very good communication skills and a strong ability to persuade others to come around to their point of view
5. They usually have a good vocabulary, and can express themselves well in written and verbal form
6. They're very clever
7. They show an unusual understanding of people and situations for a child
8. They have good people skills and are usually well-liked
9. They naturally see the possibilities of a situation and the "big picture"

Potential Weaknesses

1. They frequently forget rules, or else they never knew them in the first place
2. They have a lot of projects going on at one time, and may be scattered
3. They frequently don't finish their projects
4. They're usually very messy, and dislike cleaning up
5. They tend to speak in a very loud voice without realizing it
6. They have difficulty making decisions, and often resist decisions
7. They are often unaware of their physical environment
8. They may not take good care of themselves
9. They're not usually very aware of time or schedules
10. They don't like being controlled by others, and may be rebellious
11. They dislike being asked to do anything, and will often act very "put upon" by any request

ENP Learning Style

ENPs like to be busy and active, and need a lot of stimulation to keep from getting bored. They find tasks that require rote memorization intensely boring. They also don't do well with following pre-defined steps that someone else has come up with. ENPs like to be involved in their projects. They will only put effort into things that they are very interested in doing, which typically means that they need to have come up with the idea or contributed to it somehow. Alternatively, they can be motivated to participate in projects if someone else has really sold them on the idea, and thus inspired them to be interested in the project.

ENPs are distracted easily from the task at hand, and need to really develop their ability to focus in on what they're doing and close out environmental distractions. This is an acquired skill for ENPs. This does not mean that the ENP should be put in a room by themselves to work on their assignments. This would actually be detrimental to the ENP. They work best with others, and around others. They should be encouraged to work on their projects in the presence of others, but to remain focused on what they're doing.

ENPs have trouble finishing projects that they have begun. This is partially due to the fact that they are easily distracted environmentally, but also due to the fact that they quickly lose interest in their projects once they are past the planning phase. ENPs love to come up with interesting ideas and things to do, but find the process of actually implementing their plans to be tedious. ENPs will not finish all of their projects, and this should be understood, but the ENP should be encouraged to complete some projects all the way through to the end. This is an important step for the ENP, who needs to learn the value of following through.

The most valuable thing that can be taught to an ENP is the concept of narrowing their focus. The ENP has many ideas going on at once in their head, and believes that they can do everything. They are not realistic in their scope. They should be told repeatedly "pick one thing and do it well". The adult who is able to impress this upon the young ENP will be giving them a tremendous gift.

ENPs are not very concerned with their grades, or with doing their homework. They will resist doing assignments that they find tedious. They are far more interested in understanding the theory behind a problem than they are in actually doing the problem. They learn best by theory rather than by example. They need to understand the theory before they can do anything. Teachers should communicate the theory behind the practical application in order to get through to the ENP.

Let's use division as an example. Some children learn how to divide numbers best by doing it over and over again. They learn by example and repetition. Once they have done a lot of different division problems, they understand how it works and are comfortable with dividing numbers. ENPs learn division best by understanding the concepting of dividing a whole number into smaller parts. They see a circle with a line drawn down the middle, and understand that the whole has been cut in half, or "divided" in half. Once they understand the theory, they can apply this to their division problems and they are comfortable with dividing numbers.

ENPs are goal-oriented, and do well when given the goal and left alone to achieve it in their own way. They don't like being told explicitly how to do things. They value their own ideas and competence, and treat explicit instructions almost as an insult to their intelligence. They want to be given a goal and a general theory, and use their own resources to fill in the blanks.

ENP Special Needs

ENP children are extremely perceptive about people, and can determine someone else's attitude pretty easily. If a parent disciplines their ENP child reluctantly or with hesitation, the ENP will pick up on that immediately and perceive that they might be able to get away with pushing you to not discipline them. In general, the ENP tests their boundaries regularly, and will always try to push their boundaries out a bit further. If they're supposed to be in bed at 9:30, they'll push for 10:00. When they get 10:00, they'll push for 10:30. Boundaries and guidelines need to be defined explicitly and firmly for the ENP child.

ENPs believe that anything is possible, so they have a hard time accepting that they can't get their way. This creates a problem for parents trying to create guidelines for their ENP children's behavior. ENPs believe that surely things could be worked out in any situation so that the ENP gets want they want, and consequently they have a really hard time accepting that they're not going to get their way. For an ENP, being told that they can't do something or have something is perplexing and troubling. They will push repeatedly and ask repeatedly for whatever it is that they're seeking. In order for them to accept their parent's judgment, they need to be told WHY the parent has set the rule or boundary. The rule needs to be defined explicitly to the ENP child, with no room for alternative interpretation.

ENP children are very independent and find their greatest source of self-esteem from their abilities to do things well. They want to do things for themselves, and resist having their parents or other adults telling them what to do. An adult can best encourage a growing ENP by showing interest in their projects and admiration for the ENP's ideas, and by letting the ENP figure out how to do things on their own without too many specific instructions. This is different from the approach that should be taken when defining guidelines for behavior. Rules and boundaries should be set firmly for the child, but specific instructions on achieving goals should be avoided.

The "Missing" Letter

Adult personality types contain four letters, while for kids aged 7-12 we use three letter types. What happened to the missing letter? It's there, we just can't usually determine what it is until after a person is around 13 years old. ENP kids will grow up to be either ENTP "Visionaries" or ENFP "Inspirers". At this stage in their development, it's not obvious whether they will choose Thinking or Feeling to complement their preference for Intuition. You will see the child practicing both Thinking and Feeling as they settle down into their preferred function. In some children, it's possible to distinguish their "missing" letter, but for many kids we just have to wait a few years to be sure.




PART B: As an adult

Portrait of an ENFP - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling)

---

The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

Try this out for yourselves:
http://www.personalitypage.com/cgi-local/build_pqk.cgi

Carpenters－ Yesterday Once More

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well.

Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more.

Lookin' back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed.

It was songs of love that
I would sing to then
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies
Still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away.

Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.

All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry.
Just like before
It's yesterday once more.

interesting readups! (click onta pics to link to site)

funny comics i found at 9gag.com :D

omggggg. i think i've more or less abandoned my blog already. HAHA. anyhoo.. its sooooooo awesomeeee!! finally passed my driving a week back and just drove my dads manual ard!! so exciting when you first start driving! :D can't wait for the day that i can drive ard on my own wout any supervision from my dad. HAHA. altho that'll prolly be in like 2 weeks time. unless its late at night or something with minimal risk.. or he's not too worried i'll smash his car (: i know i know i shdnt have procrastinated with the whole driving thing for so damn long.. seems procrastination is sth i really excel in. ah well. after 3months of learning and waiting finally got the damn manual licence! HAHA. i think manual is really friggin fun. YAYYYY! (obviously dying of excitement and happiness here) :D

oh my. i haven't blogged in like 3 months time. ah well.... nothing much to update other than my wonderful slacking days (: lets see... i've sudd revived my love for badminton. been playing like at least once a week or maybe if i'm insane enough 2 or 3 times a week. lol. usually just once tho. yuying and i are trying to keep to 2 a week. well we all (well not all) know why i once a few years back had a sudden love  for badm and why it ended. haha. this time its different. anyone interested to play let me know! (: anywayyyyyy.. what else.. oh yes wii rocks! haha. delly and i found damn alota songs we absolutely loveeeee! actually i think kang loves some of those songs too. considering she actually asked me to check out the youtube video the day after. haha! ah well. we're all muscians inta making (: hmm what else.. oh yes i still haven't started looking for a job yet. yes i know i'm a slacker and we're heading for a recession. i know i know. don't have to nag. and yes i know like 97% of my friends are already working. pffftttt. i also realised how many of my friends are now working in the financial consultant or insurance sector. SCARYYYYY! haha. well so long as they don't start using and manipulating me like a certain someone (i think only meilin and yuying that know who im talking abt? haha) that was really gross la. haven't felt such pure disgust in such a long time. hmm. oh and i've been borrowing far too many lib books. haha. ask delly.. i'm sure she has been borrowing somewhat the same books as me (: we're both hooked man. you guys shd check out laurell k. hamilton... her vampire hunter series are ABSOLUTELY AMAZINGGGGGGG!!!!! (: (: (: once you start you really just can't stop! haha. speaking of which i got to finish this damn book now and try to return it before i got to pay lib dues. oh my what a nerd i am.

random pics of my old self and her happy tanned sporty (kinda) moments haha!


a tribute to union camp 05.. INGO ROCKS!! (:

da jie posing.. lol

fright night @ hawparvilla!~ it was reallyyyy scary! haha

the horrible food we ate :/

ingo guys being gay. LOL

TAU POK!! self explanatory haha!

all geared up for war!!!! (:

post war. haha

a little game we love to play. ouch obi obi! hehe. NO MERCY!


one of my fav pics. inta bus at sentosa (:

one of the many ingo outings we had aft camp (:

got carried along with the waves. only joycelyn (right) managed to pose proper! lol



ayyy. i really miss campssss :/


feeling much much better already (: think i've passed my crummy shummy stage in life and moved on to better things. hoorayy! its about time. i don't care as much abt my stupid eczema even tho the emotional and physical scars still exist. i no longer look back as much as i used to. so goodbye all the ghosts of my past that haunt me. i re-ignited my love for sports and all things water (: haha. been doing qt a bit of blading and swimming etc recently.. makes me realise i'm a water baby at heart. lol. even tho i do spend alot of the time inta pool FLOATING ARD instead of doing laps. HAHAH. meeting up with people i love. doing stupid things. chatting awayyyy.. eating loveeeeeelyyy food. hehe. all these things just make my day. i no longer try as hard to cover up the scars and i'm even working towards a tan. i used to be brown most of the time and i hate hate hate white. i'm glad the burden has lifted and i'm moving to the 'light' WAHHA. you all prolly can't really catch the joke unless you've known me awhile. heh. haha. i basically feel reunited with my old self again.. the self-distancing was worrying me for qt awhile making me moody and emoo-y at times.. but im moving on. haha. diving has been absolutely wonderful!! theory's a bitch to remember.. so many details omg. but the practical is heaven! (: loveeeeee diving!! can't wait for my diving trip with my family (including my sis yayy!) to sunny sunny redang! wooooohooooo! hopefully the batam trip with shums pam and jesse will materialize and so will the melb trip! (: and to all.. no i am not looking for a job ata moment i'm just enjoying life. yes i know i shd start soon.. and no i don't want or intend to ata moment. goodness. i know its not the singaporean style to take like a year break before starting work for life but its what i feel like doing ata moment (: and its what i'm going to do!

things that are keeping me happy at the moment :

• shan is back!!! (: love you love you! (altho u won't blif what her first words to me onta phone were -.- )
• the hse is a-painting once again into fields of grassy green.. hues of lemon and peach!! (:
• jean is finally back aft mia-ing for like 3 wks! skype jus isn't the same wout you love haha
• my sis is coming back onta 26th for 3 wks!! ARGHHH!! (:
• the prospect of amk yong tau foo coming monday is killing me!! hehe

A genius says goodbye for good

He says:

If God, for a second, forgot what I have become
and granted me a
little bit more of life, I would use it to the
best of my ability.

I wouldn't possibly, say everything that is
in my mind, but I would
be more thoughtful of all I say.

I would give merit to things not for what they
are worth, but for
what they mean to express.

I would sleep little, I would dream more,
because I know that for
every minute that we close our eyes, we waste
60 seconds of light.

I would walk while others stop; I would awake
while others sleep.

If God would give me a little bit more of life,
I would dress in a
simple manner, I would place myself in front of
the sun, leaving not
only my body, but my soul naked at its mercy.

To all men I would say how mistaken they are
when they think that
they stop falling in love when they grow old,
without knowing that
they grow old when they stop falling in love.

I would give wings to children, but I would
leave it to them to learn how
to fly by themselves.

To old people I would say that death
doesn't arrive when they grow old, but

with forgetfulness.

I have learned so much with you all, I have
learned that everybody
wants to live on top of the mountain, without
knowing that true
happiness is obtained in the journey taken
& the form used to reach
the top of the hill.

I have learned that when a newborn baby holds,
with its little hand,
his father's finger, it has trapped him for
the rest of his life.

I have learned that a man has the right and
obligation to look down
at another man, only when that man needs help
to get up from the ground.

Say always what you feel, not what you think.
If I knew that today is
the last time that that I am going to see you
asleep, I would hug you
with all my strength and I would pray to the
Lord to let me be the
guardian angel of your soul.

If I knew that these are the last moments to
see you, I would say 'I love you'.

There is always tomorrow, and life gives us
another opportunity to do
things right, but in case I am wrong, and today
is all that is left to
me, I would love to tell you how much I love
you & that I will never forget you.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, young
or old. Today could be
the last time to see your loved ones, which is
why you mustn't wait;
do it today, in case tomorrow never arrives. I
am sure you will be
sorry you wasted the opportunity today to give
a smile, a hug, a kiss,
and that you were too busy to grant them their
last wish.

Keep your loved ones near you; tell them in
their ears and to their
faces how much you need them and love them.
Love them and treat them
well; take your time to tell them 'I am
sorry';' forgive me',' please'
'thank you', and all those loving
words you know.

Nobody will know you for your secret thought.
Ask the Lord for wisdom and
strength to express them.

Show your friends and loved ones how important
they are to you.

Send this letter to those you love. If you
don't do it
today...tomorrow will be like yesterday, and if
you never do it, it
doesn't matter, either, the moment to do it
is now.

For you, With much love,
Your Friend,
Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

'The King of Terrors', a sermon on death delivered in St Paul's Cathedral on Whitsunday 1910, while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster:

published in Facts of the Faith, 1919

wow. its been a pretty long time since i've wrote. haha. been busy GRADUATING! HAHA. omg i can't believe its over. taking a super super long break before i start work for good. been busy 'renovating' or 'refurnishing' the house. painting... clearing... shifting.. goodness. its crazy!! haha. but i'm pleased with the end results. haha ask meilin and ping! they've seen it and approved (: haha. its now a comfy zone (my room only sad to say) for everyone to stay over and chillax. hahaha! i hate it when pple use the word chillax.. exactly why i just used it. haha. busy going out.. meeting people.. waiting for the big holiday plans to come!! one with kangs... one with cait.. one to melbourne (thinking of staying there a couple of months).. penang.. more to come! i just want to go all out! really really happy shums is back!! (: met up with her and we both have not changed thats for sure. haha. my food face, supper, loud laugh buddy!! we're too alike in so many ways la! haha. pam hurry back from your USA!!! its time for a gathering (: so much to do.. so much time! awesome. this will be the best holiday yet! haha. char is coming back from japan... everyone's exams have ended.. bridge mahjong ktv gatherings PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! hahaha. little trips with people i love (or not haha) sporty daysss.. cool cool nights chilling tgt. ARGHHH!!! i wish this holiday will never end (:


LETS GO OUT PEOPLE! (:

two of them no longer dying of starvation and scrawny. beautiful fur.. enormously fat. super pampered. and apparently very gay (they're both males). sorry too lazy to rotate pic so just tilt your head wont ya! (:

in loving memory of xiao hei who never failed to make me annoyed and to make me laugh. greedy yet ever so lovable. at least u died at a ripe old age. i'm sorry if i ever did anything to accelerate your death :( i feel extremely guilt ridden as it is.
xiao hei and xiao bai (more grey actually.. and my parents named them not me) when we first found them abandoned outside lenni's hse in pathetic shape and state. they were left in a small fish tank with minimal food and water with their fur all messed up and only a small netting separating them and the 'friendly' neighbourhood cats or strays that tried to attack/eat them :/ my parents and i rushed there at midnight immed when we heard about the situation.
suddenly decided to post this pic cos i REALLY REALLY MISS MELBOURNE! hahaha. miss evtg abt it.. even tho jean just told me a whole stuff of racist episodes that happened to her. haha. miss evtg abt it!! (: so much has happened in the past few wks.. really glad i got my family there (later half at least) and especially cheri and char who've just been a constant shoulder of support. they are truly MY PILLAR OF STRENGTH (private joke) love you guys tons man. what a crying fest it has been. lets see... one of my chinchillas passed away.. it was like the same re-run as the time my first chinchilla died. same evtg except it happened so suddenly and it was all my fault.. i really do think so.. even tho everyone claims it isnt. if i just hadn't gone for the st nicks thing at night.. if i hadn't let it out of its cage into the play arena or if i hadn't let it out with the grey chin.. or if i hadn't eaten prata supper at thomson for such a long time.. so many ifs but it doesn't change the fact that xiao hei still passed away inta end and i ended up paying a bomb for the vet fees even tho the doc only prod it ard for 10min before it died.. i had to pay $150.. it was suppose to be $200 (basic fee excluding all the jabs and what not) for first timers but i think i was crying so badly that i not only made the receptionist cry but also made her change her mind and charge me $150 instead. goodness. according to cel, james tan veterinary clinic is as bad as mount pleasant (or mount UNPLEASANT i shd say).. how ironic or coincidental that they are just next to each other on whitley road. ah well. at least i didnt have to pay exhorbitant cab fare this time round cos char drove (: thank goodness for the 2 of them. if not i wld have to go thru the whole ordeal alone. they accompanied me till 7am and we brought our digging tools down to the playground and dug our little grave. we all nv realised how tiring and extremely difficult digging into the ground is.. the roots are killer. i decided to be sentimental and packed small bits of chinchilla food and alfalfa grass into a tiny plastic wrap to put into the grave on top of him. He was always the most greedy of the four chins.. so i thought it was rather apt. ah well. char and cheri if u guys are reading this.. thank you so much for being there. this is not the first time you've went outta the way to help me out and i appreciate u guys tons! my oldest and good-est friends around (: you guys were the 3rd in line that i called after i discovered xiao hei on the floor not moving and i broke down in a panic. haha. first were my parents (both happened to go on separate overseas trips that fateful week) then jean (cos she is my best fren and a vet so shd wld know what to do) then cheri and char (who has just left my hse 5min ago after they dropped me off from supper). ah well.. after shutting myself away and crying myself to death the whole weekend.. i started to get real emo.. i skipped like 2 wks of sch (to date) ytd (friday) was the first day of lessons that i actually attended in qt a while. goodness. feels like the holidays already! yeah then my kitty (touki) had fleas.. and it was soo traumatizing. i had to buy tons of flea prevention stuff for it.. revolution and flea spray.. which cost abt $100. god knows how much i spent on the kitty already. but thank god that episode is over. the kitty is as clean as ever!! or as clean as it'll ever get! heh. the stupid thing is.. as i am typing this now.. touki has been mia for 12 hrs already. which is odd cos he is nv gone for more than 4 hrs a time. and i can't find him at all his fav spots in hall. i take this as a very bad sign. searched for him 3 times over.. but to no avail. its saturday.. and im going home aft proj meeting.. prolly gotta leave the litter and his food stuff outside and pray he returns. it wld be really ironic that after all that happened he decided to be a stray cat after all. ah well. lets not think of that now. another pet related thing that happened is that my bunnies gave birth to two bald red small things/babies! haha. i was initially very grossed out by how they looked. sad to say.. one died after a day.. and the other the next day. i think it was lack of milk from the mother. which is another odd way to die. also, 2 babies per birth is very little. according to jean (who referred to her textbook and tutored me all about bunnies) the range is 4-12 and the average is 5-8. 2 was abnormally low. i figured maybe the parents already ate up some before we sighted/discovered them. i was very very disappointed when they died. i spent the two days after they were born being the paranoid 'nanny'. constantly checking on them. making sure everything is alright. think i was spot checking every hour. i even woke up specially at 7am just to spy and see if the mommy is feeding the babies. ugh. wasted efforts. and the mom went thru so much (did u know that mother rabbits pull out their own fur leaving gaps of fur on their backs and stomach to make a cosy warm nest for the babies? so damn brutal and painful). i mean giving birth itself is already no joke. ah well. now is the crunch time. kang just updated me that exams are in 2 wks. okay im sure most of u knew that but i didnt. somehow i tot i had another 3wks or 4. heh. ah well. but exams are the last thing on my mind for now. next wk i still got 2 proj deadlines.. 2 tests and 1 presentation. how busy can one get! goodness. anw i am really glad for the constant meet ups with cheri!! (: and i enjoyed my bdae celebrations! thanks all u guys! love all the presents and cards/collages!! will upload pics soon! (: can't believe i hit DOUBLE DOUBLE already.. ahha. sucks. feeling like a grandma ata moment. haha. ah well.. cheers to all the other fellow 'grandmas' out there. i finally managed to right my body clock (slept 2am woke up 8am) for today at least.. feeling refreshed and ready to read more abt ever fascinating environmental science (i am not being sarcastic it really is a v interesting topic!) cheers to the crazy wk ahead!

in a funky (and i dont mean gd) mood now. all thanks to a few sentences i just heard. you are soooooo bitchy! sooooo loud... so inconsiderate and insensitive. hate hate hate! ugh! funny how little things can annoy u so much and set u into 'mild' depression... emo_gal86 here i come! or perhaps its my lack of slp. only slept 2 hrs the night before. ahhhhh. just printed out all my 3204  lect notes and etc.. soooooo many things to do this wk and the next.. check out my busy schedule.

18/3 : history essay due 5pm
19/3 : e-learning proj meeting 2pm (this means i need to read up on all my lects..ugh)
20/3 : copyright proj meeting 2-4pm (this means i need to do all my research and ppt slides)
21/3 : finish e-learning tut by 5pm and maybe tourism proj grp meeting (if not 22/3)
22/3 : try to borrow astro books from lib, read up and summarize, explain and cite :/
23/3 : spend whole day finishing up tourism J1 + J2 write ups (total 2000 words)
24/3 : tourism final submission (A1 + A2 + J1 + J2 and prototypes if any)


i really want to die. super xiong la this sem!! goodness. and i have decided 
to tell my parents abt touki this weekend. wonder what their response 
will be. well i guess one can only pray. 

6 little eggs on the run
they f*ck each other three goes
boom dubi dom
watch out be safe so
3 little eggs had sex
1 win and 2 explode goes
boom dubi dom
watch out be safe so
2 little eggs in the sun
one sleep too long goes boom boom
boom dubi dom
the story ends with 1 little egg was blind
make suicide with a pen bomb
boom dubi dom
another story come

atonement is an amazing film. amazing. absolutely brilliant. the cinematography, the plot, lines, and all the in betweens as the scenes transverse from one to another is just captivating, mesmerizing and brutally honest! anyone interested in drama, romance, adaption and war shd definitely watch this show. James McAvoy's acting was magnificent and of star quality!! i am so glad my mom bought us tickets to see this show! it inspired me so much and kept me pondering on and on about questions of life and meaning long after the show ended. and even got me to blog after soooooooo long! haha. yes i realised i have been too lazy to blog. basically can't be bothered la. anyone got the book 'atonement' by Ian McEwan? i definitely want to read it. maybe a trip to a library i shall go (:

I waited 'til I saw the sun

I don't know why I didn't come

I left you by the house of fun

I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come



When I saw the break of day

I wished that I could fly away

Instead of kneeling in the sand

Catching teardrops in my hand



My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever



Out across the endless sea

I would die in ecstasy

But I'll be a bag of bones

Driving down the road alone



My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever



Something has to make you run

I don't know why I didn't come

I feel as empty as a drum

I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come

amazzzinnnggggg!!!!!! (: its been a great hols so far! been slacking ard (as usual)... swimming (only thrice so far cos of the stupid rainy days)... cycling.. shopping/window shopping (i dont know why i have nth in mind i want to buy)... eating around.. haha.. meeting up with old friends.. hanging out with my family.. good times are a rolling (: happinesss!! i've been more or less ignoring or rather forgetting abt the comp... my hps.. and just focusing on the 'offline' world for now. and im loving it! (: cant wait for the holidays to come! recently i've amazingly managed to right my body clock! been sleeping ard 7-10pm and waking 7-10am!! haha.. almost too good to be true.. and i actually get annoyed if i slp past 11am. haha! omg. what a turn over eh! bet all who know me will not believe a word im saying about this.. but its true!! im trying not to destroy my wonderful sleeping and waking timings but i have this feeling it wont last much longer :/

first i'd like to share my love with a few people i'd like to thank cos without em i'd nv have gotten thru the sem. (me and my emo periods towards the end that is). not that i went thru v troubled times.. there were many (mostly) happy times and all just that these are the people who were always there for me and just kept me going!! (:

jean : who else but you my dear (: always there for me even tho you're far away. glad we both put in so much effort to keep in touch and knowing (almost) evtg abt each other and being there for each other. you're the best friend i cld ever want and ask for (:

joyce : who else but my wonderful sis who even helped me find my research materials!!! ahaahha (:

kang : always there for me. always there but always late. haha! change the latter wont you (: anyways i think you've grown and matured so so so much. v proud of you. so focused and determined. you make me proud babe! (: i think ur hse is a really good study environment btw.. think del might agree haha

del : who else can i complain and whine to if not you? haha. altho u alws start(or die rather) earlier than me. i'll always rmb our 'damage control' days in jc and the first two years of uni (even tho we're in diff schools) we almost always wind up in similar situations. hahaha. aiyah.. u and kang and jean. old friendships nv die la. (:

shimin : hello my new found friend!! (: you're the sweetest sleepiest (napster) silliest and most caring and innocent friend i have i think! haha. i was just telling jean the other day that i think two of you might hit it off rather well. haha. will tell u more abt it when i meet u tmr!! (: anyways.. you're my new best friend in hall babe!! nothing much i can say here to tell ya how much i appreciate yaaa!! (: cheers to the new sem ahead!! yayy!!

meilin : known each other since our first year in hall but only really truly bonded with you this sem! great times studying worrying stressing eating slacking sporting with you babe!! (: nv thought our friendship cld go as far as it has... its amazing!! you're a wonderful and funny friend and im looking forward to next sem when ping n all are back as well and all of us can hang out tgt!! we must study hard/harder this time!! (: hope ur IA goes well. haha

ping : i miss you hurry back!! its been great msning and emailing you !!! transferring songs all. dont know why christmas always reminds me of you! haha (:


oh my! cant wait for krabi trip to come! apparently its been cut short to 4 days (20-23) due to unforeseen circumstances.. but we're 'replenishing' it with a 2nd trip to somewhere. haha! last i heard my mom was considering bintan or sth. not sure. but either way im still excited! (: must play to my hearts content this hols before the new sem starts cos im gna have to work doubly hard with 6 mods. ughhhh :/ okay lets not think abt school for now...

joyce is back.
shan is back.
jean is NOT back :(

few random thoughts of the day...

1) i really really want to eat seafood!!!
2) how am i going to get my wonderful tan if it keeps raining damn it! (omg i sound like a bimbs)
3) wow this apple is really sour.. ughh
4) all the girls in the PCD contest is really really talented eh..
5) why oh why won't u tell me about it? its saddens me.
6) i really wanna play vball/badm/tennis/squash or anything!!
7) KTV KTV KTV KTV!!!

for once i am at peace (: